Well hello there…it’s been quite a time, hasn’t it?
Friend, I’ve been through quite the shit storm. I went to a place inside of myself that I didn’t even know existed-it scared the lace panties right off my Dorito-lovin’ ass! Believe me when I say that self-growth is not for the faint of heart, or stomach. But somehow, I made it through. I’d like to say it’s the christmas season that brought joy back in to my heart, but that’s not a whole truth. I’d also like to say that I “saw the light” or that my creator spoke to me personally and pulled me up by my suspenders, but that’s also not it. The truth is that my lesson to be learned this time was acceptance, and I accepted that I needed time to grieve and process an ended love affair-and I didn’t need anybody telling me how to do it, or what kind of time it would consume, or what cockamamie remedies to take-because for the first time in my life I insisted on allowing the process to unfold as it needed to.
So i tucked myself in to my turtle shell and said goodbye to the world and it’s hustle and bustle, I politely avoided conversation when I felt it may be too painful to open up…and I mourned. My pillows were salt-crusted and my eyes told a story that most were hesitant to ask about. My bed was my solace, my comforter the arms that held me, and my own voice was the one who was telling me that I really was going to be ok, and that I am consistently taking confident steps in the right direction and that eating a tub of Haagen-Dazs is actually uber healthy compared to the alternative (of which I am not allowed to make mention of for legal purposes)
And that nutshell is what brought me to today-writing again. And i did it myyyyy waaaaaay!
This is how I know that I REALLY AM “ok”, and that my life is moving in the direction that I want it to go for a change. And eating a pack of Twizzlers and guzzling “dessert wine” while blasting Bjork is like, the Indie version of a $5000/night retreat at some hoity toity country club-and i don’t even have to put on pants. My favourite part.
So here’s to self-discovery, self-acceptance, and a whole lotta L.O.V.E.-I’ll throw it out there like glitter out of a Unicorn’s ass. Maybe it’ll put a spell on you and we can vacuum up glitter together, in our undies. You know, what normal people do.